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Heart Song Hallelujah

Darkness Is As Light to You

August 12th, 2013

The night before we played for our very last church of the summer, I had the opportunity to share part of my testimony with the church’s youth group. I had something prepared, but as the time got closer I began to get really nervous. This was a part of my testimony I don’t share with a lot of people—even some members of my team hadn’t heard this story before—and here I was about to share it with a group of teenagers and youth leaders I had just met. I thought quickly about changing what I wanted to talk about at the last minute, but decided that if God had put this story on my heart, I needed to share it. So I stepped out in faith and shared my testimony. After the meeting broke up, two girls came up to me right away and told me that my story matched almost exactly what they were going through in their high schools and homes, and that hearing my story was a huge encouragement to them. I gave them both hugs and reminded them that God carries us through even our darkest moments, and that even when we feel surrounded by darkness God is still there, carrying us through.

The story that I told is about a time in high school when I found myself in complete darkness. The words of David in Psalm 139 describe exactly how I felt: “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me.” But God slowly brought me out of that darkness, reminding me that He hems me in behind and before and lays His hand upon me. Psalm 139 also says that “even the darkness will not be dark to You [God]; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You.” I shared this Scripture with the youth group, and as I shared God reminded me that when I find myself in dark moments even during this summer, God still sees me and shines His light into my life to make the darkness brighter. I can try to run from God, or I can feel deserted by God, but there is nowhere I can go to get away from God’s Spirit; he is always there, holding me with His right hand. As I shared my testimony, nervous and terrified, the Holy Spirit was giving me strength and speaking through my words.

As I spoke to these two girls, I felt very overwhelmed with shock and happiness! This dark moment in my life that I am hesitant to share even with my close friends had encouraged these two beautiful girls in a way that I could never have imagined. God’s Spirit was moving through my heart and my words as I shared my testimony, and He used my story to encourage these girls in a huge way! I am so glad I decided not to change what I shared, because even when I feel as though the darkness is consuming me, the night shines like the day to the God whose hand will guide me. I feel emboldened to share my story more often, to let God speak through my darkness to shine His light.

Deanna Ruman-01

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