{"id":4201,"date":"2025-05-13T12:00:04","date_gmt":"2025-05-13T16:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.cedarville.edu\/studentlife\/?p=4201"},"modified":"2025-05-30T13:56:52","modified_gmt":"2025-05-30T17:56:52","slug":"forming-meaningful-friendships-takes-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.cedarville.edu\/studentlife\/2025\/05\/13\/forming-meaningful-friendships-takes-time\/","title":{"rendered":"Forming Meaningful Friendships Takes Time"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

I came into college not knowing anyone on campus except for my roommate, whom I\u2019d met that summer on the RoomSync app. Although a lot of students do have friends already established, many don\u2019t!<\/span><\/p>\n

A quick Google search told me that at least 50% of incoming freshman have no social network at a school<\/strong>, especially if the college is far away from their home. So if you\u2019re worried about making meaningful new friendships that last your entire college experience, you\u2019re not alone! I\u2019m still working on my own friendships, but <\/span>I\u2019ve learned some things that I hope will be helpful and encouraging!<\/p>\n

\"A<\/p>\n

Getting Started<\/h4>\n

I think I should start by clarifying one thing. The first few weeks will be hard<\/strong>, especially if you don\u2019t know anyone. Even if you do, things are guaranteed to be different than they were at home, and you shouldn\u2019t be discouraged if you don\u2019t make immediate friends who know you and eat dinner with you every night. Sometimes there may be nights where you eat in your dorm room. Sometimes you\u2019ll walk to chapel by yourself. And that\u2019s okay, I promise! You can\u2019t expect yourself to get onto campus and find those people you can share everything with right away. It takes time.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I especially struggled with that, knowing I was surrounded by people my age but also knowing that none of them understood a single thing about who I was, what I liked and why, my childhood \u2014 all of the things that I thought mattered about me.<\/p>\n

\"Two <\/a> <\/div> <\/div>
\"Gabby <\/a> <\/div> <\/div> <\/div> <\/div>\n

Put in the Work!<\/h4>\n

It won\u2019t happen on its own. There will be work that you\u2019ll have to do. Friendships don\u2019t just blossom out of nowhere as time goes on if you\u2019re not being intentional. Trust me, I wish they did. But just like your relationship with the Lord, your relationships with other people will require a bit of work.<\/p>\n

If you are an introvert<\/strong> \u2014 like me \u2014 it will mean doing things you\u2019d really rather not do. Maybe it means being the one to act first, smile first, or talk first. For the extroverts<\/strong> out there, it might look like being the one who is consistent, who always says hi or remembers to text back before too many days go by.<\/p>\n

Maybe at first, it won\u2019t feel like anything is happening, but I promise that if you stick with it and keep putting yourself out there, God will honor that intentionality. He will provide you with the people He wants you with, and He will close the doors to friendships He doesn\u2019t want you in. We can always trust that He knows who will be best for us.<\/p>\n

\"Making <\/a> <\/div> <\/div>
\"Making <\/a> <\/div> <\/div> <\/div> <\/div>\n

Look Outside of the Classroom<\/h4>\n

I can\u2019t guarantee that anything that has worked for me will be good for you, but I do think some of the things I\u2019ve tried to do have helped me in my friendships. Taking the time away from work or other activities to spend it with people is something that wasn\u2019t always easy for me.<\/p>\n

Growing up, I always had a friend whose friendship I didn\u2019t have to work very hard on. She was just always there. Coming to school made me recognize the importance of the skill of starting new friendships, and one of those ways is simply investing in being with them. It\u2019s not always the classroom where you make the best friends<\/strong>, although some great friendships can come from shared classes.<\/p>\n

Often, though, it\u2019s those outside things that you do together. Going hiking or walking on campus, eating lunch between classes, chatting with them in one of your rooms \u2014 just being together and doing life. Besides, taking study breaks is always good anyway!<\/p>\n

Be Flexible!<\/h4>\n

Your friendships will always be changing while you\u2019re in college. People\u2019s schedules start to conflict. Maybe that one friend you always ate dinner with has plans now. Maybe you don\u2019t have that general education class with your roommate and never see them anymore. That\u2019s okay. God will keep the people He wants in our lives around, but sometimes, it does take some hard work to keep the friendship strong.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m still working on that, and I will be until I graduate. Each semester is different, with new classes and new faces, but every new face is an opportunity, not something to be nervous about. And perhaps that stranger needs a friend more than you do at the moment. Maybe God plans to use <\/strong><\/span>you<\/i> to strengthen them<\/i><\/strong>.<\/strong> You never know!\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I hope I\u2019ve provided a bit of comfort, or at the very least given you some ideas as to how to reach people. Coming to college is scary, even for the people who won\u2019t admit it, and feeling like you have no community can be hard, but I promise it won\u2019t last, not if you\u2019re intentional where God has placed you.<\/span><\/p>\n

And if you try and try and still feel alone, then hey, just reach out. We can learn together!<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Cedarville is known for being a place where you make friends for life, but forming those friendships takes time. Read Gabby’s post to find out more. 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